Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
