Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
