you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
