my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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