i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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