He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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