Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
