he thought i was a dude.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
