Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
