If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
