Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
