we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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