my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.