Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.