im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.