Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
