Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
