just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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