Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???