pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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