soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
