at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
