So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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