your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize