yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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