I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
