glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
