Are we in a gay sports bar?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Randomize
