so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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