I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
