I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
