You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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