he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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