remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
