FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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