i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How does one acquire holy water?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
my liver is dry heaving
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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