you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
