I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
