On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
