..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
