before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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