So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
