I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
