im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have aggressive nipples.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
