I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
