I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the night ended with taco bell and tears
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
