i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
