So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
