Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
