I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
