what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
