I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
