So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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