Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
