Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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