Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?

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(770): View more from Georgia

Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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(520): View more from Arizona

There was a lot of him and a little penis

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(516): View more from New York

and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables

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(507): View more from Minnesota

i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.

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