Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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  (248): ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores. http://tfl.nu/e4hq
  Replies (19) Good night (4895) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome

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  (970): we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome http://tfl.nu/ziv6
  Replies (32) Good night (607) Bad night (9069) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  u downloaded tardy 4 the party

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record

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  (864): u downloaded tardy 4 the party (864): then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record http://tfl.nu/h7n2
  Replies (18) Good night (1077) Bad night (2231)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

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  (913): Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline. http://tfl.nu/h7vn
  Replies (15) Good night (2992) Bad night (806)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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  (740): Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night http://tfl.nu/r09y
  Replies (9) Good night (4840) Bad night (1145) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.

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  (617): it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina. http://tfl.nu/7xv1
  Replies (14) Good night (1152) Bad night (4214) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

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  (972): My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B. http://tfl.nu/k9ee
  Replies (10) Good night (970) Bad night (3338)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in

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  (773): She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in http://tfl.nu/bue7
  Replies (6) Good night (3802) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.

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  (518): I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere. http://tfl.nu/r42x
  Replies (13) Good night (1243) Bad night (4345) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  ttyl tear gas

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  (604): ttyl tear gas http://tfl.nu/bmdg
  Replies (13) Good night (991) Bad night (2351) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.

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  (863): my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car. http://tfl.nu/8sk6
  Replies (10) Good night (1486) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

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  (512): Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants. http://tfl.nu/4z6l
  Replies (7) Good night (663) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

  (415): View more from California

  I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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  (925): I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time. (415): I still don't know how you've lived this long. http://tfl.nu/6ttn
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (313)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.

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  (208): I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko. http://tfl.nu/cj6v
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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  (509): You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you? http://tfl.nu/3xdc
  Replies (8) Good night (263) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt

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