Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.