Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
