omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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