yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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