There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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