I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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