Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize