what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
