Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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