her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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