you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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