I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You have to summon your inner elephant
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
