just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
