I hope mine doesn't look like that
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
