dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
