white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
