when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
then he tried to convert me to islam
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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